The Professor and the Smuggler Read online

  His eyes had adjusted to the faint moonlight illuminating the room, and when he spotted the mug, Phillip drained it immediately. He was greedy for Carne again, for his company, and tried to think of a way to stall him from seeking his bed.

  “Since I’m employing you, I give you leave to sleep as late as you wish. No need to worry about this late hour.”

  “Very good, m’ lord, but I have errands unrelated to your worshipful self’s needs.”

  Phillip laughed. “That’s put me in my place. Very good.”

  “Such a peculiar man.” There was only a hint of amusement in Carne’s voice now. “I forget myself over and over with you. You’re as informal as can be.”

  “Too true.” Phillip dropped onto his back on the bed. “I do know how to behave myself and did for most of my years at Cambridge. I can be as stodgy a fellow as you could ask for.”

  “What’s it like, then?” Carne actually moved the chair closer to the bed. In the small room, that meant he was close indeed. Phillip could hear the soft sound of his breathing. “I mean the work. You didn’t do anything strenuous with your body, only your mind. Why would a man leave a plum position like that?”

  Phillip wished he had more water, but didn’t want to say such a thing for fear of losing Carne’s presence. “I was a scattered sort of a lecturer. A student could merely introduce a tangent, and then the lecture would go well over time. I think I told you I was held back by my duties, but in truth, I could have pursued my research in the field under the university’s auspices. Ha, I’d have had some students to help with the research as well.”

  “Someone else to cart your equipment?”

  “Exactly. I knew you were an astute fellow.”

  “If they’d let you wander the countryside, why not remain a part of the university?”

  “I have always been a part of some school or another since I was a child. I wanted to explore the world outside academia. To find out on my own where I fit without the presence of my university looming over my plans and dreams.”

  “Dreams.” Carne sounded disgusted. “They don’t pay for dinner.”

  “Ah, that is due to my uncle. He and I were good friends.” He broke off, still not able to speak easily of his beloved relative who’d died two years earlier. The existence of his uncle, a confirmed bachelor, had reassured Phillip that desire for another man could dwell in the most admirable of gentlemen.

  During a long-ago visit, his Uncle Downlaw had discovered young Phillip weeping. When Phillip brokenly confessed to unnatural inclinations, his uncle had told him he should feel no shame. Some men were simply born different. Phillip had understood without Downlaw saying it that they were both of that special sort.

  “Have you fallen asleep?” Carne whispered.

  “No, no. I was thinking about my uncle.”

  “The one who supports your dreams?”

  “In a manner of speaking. He left me well off.” He sighed. “And he would be annoyed that I mentioned that fact to you. He disliked conversations about money.”

  “Was he a stodgy sort?”

  “Not at all. He, ah, he understood me.”

  “And what does that mean?”

  Phillip thought Carne knew full well what it meant. Did Carne want to engage in battle about Phillip’s desires? But that didn’t seem to fit the man who’d helped him all day, including that episode in a ditch.

  Phillip said, “My uncle never showed anything but the most decorous behavior with me, but he was another like me. His acceptance of me was a balm on a sore spirit.”

  And his uncle’s restrained behavior and advice taught Phillip discretion. Which he most definitely was not showing at the moment. He resolved to shut up.

  “So he was a man who liked…who didn’t like women?” Carne sounded curious rather than confrontational.

  “He liked a great many people.” Phillip was tired of the sexual desire coursing through him when near Carne, and he had grown even more tired of defining anyone by their hungers. “He was popular in society, with a pattern of generosity to charities. When my Uncle Downlaw died of a wasting disease, hundreds of people attended his funeral.”

  “I’m sorry,” Carne said. “I can tell you’re offended. I’m trying to understand.”

  “What? Why? Do you think I might explain to you why I was designed in this manner? I have no notion. I should tell you this, Carne, I am not sorry about what I am or who I desire.”

  He shook his head, which barely ached now. Yet his spirits had sunk. That might have come from thinking of his uncle—and no doubt drinking too much and growing sick. “No, now I must beg your pardon. You are a wonderful host, and I have abused your hospitality more than once. Now I’m being abominably rude. Please do excuse me.”

  He waited for Carne to leave the room, but he didn’t.

  “Earlier.” Carne began. He moved in the chair, which creaked under his weight. “Earlier today. I thought about what it would be like. To be. What you and I might do.”

  “Oh.” Phillip let out a long ragged breath. Suddenly, the desires he’d dismissed minutes ago seemed vitally important. “You are curious. Perfectly natural.” He wished his voice hadn’t cracked. “Have you ever done anything with a man, or perhaps, when you were young, with a boyhood friend?”

  “God, no.” The revulsion was clear, and Phillip flinched. “But then again, I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

  “Oh.” That might be the only thing he was capable of saying now. What a strange long day this turned out to be. “What would you like?”

  “I think… I’m not sure…” He fell silent.

  “What?” Phillip whispered into the dark, which wasn’t so complete any longer. He could see the slump of defeat in Carne’s shoulders. Or perhaps he was merely leaning toward Phillip.

  “I think I want to lie down with you. And maybe we’ll just go to sleep,” Carne added hastily. “But if you don’t mind.”

  In answer, Phillip moved to make space on the bed, which was luckily quite wide, as both of Carne’s sisters had shared it. “This is your home, after all.” He tried to add a bit of humor, but it didn’t work because he could hear his own breath and heart racing, and he could feel the bed shake as Carne sat and pulled off his boots.

  Phillip wished he could smell himself to make sure he didn’t reek of ale or worse. But his worries dissolved when Carne stretched out on his side facing Phillip. This was more than he’d even hoped for, the culmination of his recent fevered dreams.

  And if he didn’t frighten Carne or disgust him, more might come. He inched forward. He’d planned to let Carne lead the way, but he couldn’t bear to allow so many inches to separate their bodies. The dizziness coursing through him had nothing to do with the drunkenness of earlier and everything to do with the scent of salt and smoke and the heat of the man he nearly touched. Carne’s chest rose and fell at a rate almost as rapid as his own.

  Phillip couldn’t bridge the last inch—that must be Carne’s choice. He whispered, “If anything more than this companionable rest occurs, I shan’t be disappointed, I assure you.”

  Rest wasn’t a truthful word at the moment. With his arm twisted above his head and the other under his body, he wouldn’t be comfortable, but that didn’t matter.

  Something moved, and a hand brushed the front of his trousers, up and down. “You’re lying,” Carne said.

  “Carne,” Phillip whispered. “I don’t mind if you conduct experimentation with me. But I might…”

  He didn’t want to finish the rest of the thought because he didn’t want to appear to be the tenderhearted fool he’d been in the past. I might just fall in love with you.

  Having known the total immersion of a heart consumed by love, Phillip feared its overwhelming power. He could be casual, and had been so with several partners. He thought particularly of Geoffrey. Yes, it was possible to begin and end a physical relationship without breaking any hearts. But was that sort of simple gratification sufficient? He wasn’t
sure if that’s all he wanted for the rest of his life.

  He closed his eyes and waited for Carne to decide the next move.

  “Might what?” Carne asked, in a regular voice.

  “Enjoy myself,” Phillip said and opened his eyes. A small gleam in the dark told him Carne smiled. Good.

  Chapter Ten

  Carne must have drunk too much as well. His appetite should have been quashed by the sight of Professor Singleton vomiting in the ditch. But even as he’d led the poor man back to the cart, he’d been aware of the slender form under his guiding hand.

  After he’d put the cart away, he’d paused in the doorway of Phillip’s room, examining the man who sprawled on the bed. He looked uncomfortable, and his pale cheeks had seemed too flushed.

  Carne hadn’t meant to settle in the chair, but, after he’d pulled off Phillip’s shoes and gotten him a mug of water, he sat for just a minute to examine the sleeping figure that seemed very still, especially for such an active, almost twitchy sort of a man. Shouldn’t a drunken man snore? He leaned close to the parted lips. Phillip didn’t stink of sick. His breath came slow but even.

  He might be like Donald the fisherman, though, and choke and die with too much drink. Carne stayed, kept the light burning and watched over his visitor. He should have been embarrassed staring at a man as he slept, but he didn’t think Phillip would mind. He’d been so forgiving when he’d discovered Carne snooping through his papers. Phillip was the most forgiving sort of man Carne had met. So exotic, too.

  That was the appeal of women, the strange otherness of them. Their soft and round forms—different and smaller than his own—made him feel strong. He examined Phillip’s body, with those well-maintained fingernails and clean limbs. The professor was composed of sleek lines, at least when he lay so still, and his body seemed nearly as exotic as a woman’s.

  Enough contrasting him with Carne’s usual bedpartner. Bea deserved better than this sort of game, especially when she didn’t come out the winner.

  That horrendous realization made Carne blow out the lamp, then shrink down in his chair. But he didn’t leave the moonlit room. When Phillip snorted and started awake, Carne didn’t excuse himself right away and then…he simply didn’t want to leave. The intimacy of the dim, hushed room made him confide things and take liberties he never would have in the light of day.

  He lay facing the long, lean professor, bodies only inches apart. Carne’s heart thundered as he dared to reach out and touch hardness, his fingers tentatively traveling the length of the ridge in Phillip’s trousers. Phillip made a small sound, and it fanned Carne’s small burning glow of interest into a raging fire. He wanted to hear more yearning whimpers, to give this man reason to gasp and sigh and groan. He needed to feel more than a vague hardness through layers of fabric. The next step was to lay bare Phillip’s member and explore it flesh to flesh.

  In the dark, Carne struggled with unfastening Phillip’s trousers. The other man’s hands quickly joined his to unbutton and remove the barriers of material between them. Phillip lifted his hips, and Carne pulled the trousers down nearly to his knees.

  There was just enough light that Carne could make out the pale length of Phillip’s erection, standing as upright as one of the menhir in a stone circle. He touched the warm flesh, vibrating with life, and scraped his fingernails down the length, earning another quiet murmur from Phillip. How delightful that sound, as satisfying to hear as any of Bea’s soft mews. This wasn’t so very different after all—the act of giving pleasure to another human being. Carne grew less nervous and more assured in his movements. He knew what he enjoyed when he handled himself, so he merely applied those movements to Phillip.

  First he took a moment to cradle Phillip’s sac, weighing it in his palm and lightly squeezing. Next he slid his fingers over the man’s erection, sampling the smooth texture of skin over hardness. At last, he wrapped his fist around the base of the shaft and pulled slowly up to the tip.

  Phillip’s foreskin had retracted, and the rounded head was already beaded with moisture. Carne’s own cock seemed to swell even harder in an excited solidarity. As he slid his fist down, then up again, he ached for Phillip to mirror his movements, but didn’t know how to ask. Or even if he truly wanted a stranger’s touch upon him.

  Oh hell, why pretend. Of course he wanted it. He’d gone this far, Why not gain the full experience? This was a once-only chance to try something new. No one would ever know what had transpired between them tonight.

  You’ll know, and it will change you forever. Do you think you’ll still be interested in Bea after this?

  He ignored the whisper and focused on the task at hand. In hand, more precisely. He grasped the meaty weight of the Phillip’s cock and continued to pump with even strokes while Phillip rocked his hips slightly in approval.

  “Let me… May I touch you as well?” Phillip’s voice was gravelly and lower than usual. The rumbling sound swelled Carne’s desire. He nodded, and a moment later, Phillip had loosened his trousers and had a hand down them.

  A shock to feel the heat and warmth of a man’s strong fist wrapped around his erection. Such a shock that Carne thought he might release too quickly, not only from the touch but from whose touch it was. He calmed himself by drawing a long breath and attempting to focus on what he was doing to Phillip. If he allowed himself to become too aware of his own mounting excitement, that would be the end of it.

  He stopped reveling in Phillip’s rubbing of his cock and opened his eyes to watch Phillip’s face, the grimaces of pleasure produced by Carne’s massaging hand. Their gazes locked, drawing them somehow closer, though their heads never left the two pillows.

  In the darkness, Carne couldn’t read Phillip’s emotions but saw the gleam of his eyes, and that was enough. He felt connected to this man in a way he’d never experienced before. Their hands on each other’s members stroked together now, reminding him of how men must work together when sailing a boat, understanding each other’s needs and fulfilling them. This mutual act of trust was akin to that, as he and Phillip tugged and stroked and breathed together.

  When it happened, when Phillip went still and gave a strangled groan and warm fluid shot from his cock to land on Carne’s fist, Carne felt deep satisfaction, nearly as much joy as if the orgasm were his own.

  Phillip’s steady massage of his shaft, coupled with those feelings, was enough to trigger Carne’s own release. Carne lost control and groaned more loudly than he’d ever needed to during sex. He’d never have believed mutual pleasuring by hand could provide more powerful sensations than having his cock buried in heat and wetness.

  He squeezed his eyes shut as the sensations coursed through him. Good God, if a simple hand job could set off such an explosion, what would Phillip’s mouth on his cock be like? Or…the other thing two men did together.

  Carne could hardly bring himself to imagine sodomy. That went beyond the pale. The entry of another person’s rear channel, be they male or female, was a perversion of nature’s law. Man’s law too, punishable by fines and prison time. Not that breaking the crown’s laws had ever been a problem for Carne before.

  If he was being honest with himself, he was already imagining the act: Phillip’s long, smooth back below him, the rounded curves of his buttocks lifting slightly, the dark cleft between them, and the…the entrance. He swallowed hard, thinking of how different it might be from plunging into a pussy. Not as wet, tighter, even constricting. What else? Would he actually enjoy it? He was desperate to find out. But for now…

  He drew his attention back to the cock losing girth in his hand. Phillip had released Carne’s, and now Carne did the same, laying Phillip’s limp member against his belly and wiping his hand on the tail of his own shirt. He wiped up his own spending, and then he wasn’t sure what to do next, so he lay there feeling awkward.

  “You see,” Phillip whispered. “No harm done, and we both enjoyed it, I believe.”

  Carne nodded. “’Twas interesting. Different
from…” He left the thought unfinished. “But I don’t think we should do it again.”

  Even as he said it, his mind whined why? So long as Phillip was staying at his house, he should take advantage of the opportunity. For he’d never have another like this, certainly not with any man he knew in the village. Not that he’d be at all interested in any of them.

  Face by face, he pictured every man he knew. Nothing stirred below his waist. But one glance at Phillip’s eyelashes fanned against his cheekbones, and Carne felt the quickening of interest again. What was it about this particular man that affected him in ways he’d never imagined possible?

  Bright eyes glittered in the darkness as Phillip opened them. “We won’t repeat it ever, if you don’t want to.” Was that disappointment in his voice? It was wrong of Carne to hope so.

  He took a breath, then spoke in short bursts. “Well, maybe. So long as you’re here. If you wanted to. We could conduct other experiments. I suppose.”

  Now teeth gleamed as Phillip gave him a broad grin. “I should enjoy that. And I’ll make certain you do too.”

  A hundred different thoughts and feelings warred inside Carne. Part of him wanted to stay there, sharing the warmth of the bed with Phillip, but a larger part of him needed to flee before he utterly lost himself and became a person he no longer recognized. What was he turning into? If he wasn’t Carne, who was he?

  “I should go.” He tucked his cock away and threw back the covers.

  He was half out of bed when Phillip stopped him with a quiet, “Carne.”

  “What?” He didn’t turn to look but heard Phillip sit. Then a hand rested on his back.

  “I understand your need to be alone right now. But if you wanted… That is if you don’t feel it’s too intimate, maybe we could exchange a kiss?” Phillip sounded so hopeful, it worried Carne. He wouldn’t want the man to begin to have feelings for him. Bad enough that it seemed Bea had developed some. It wasn’t Carne’s intention to hurt anyone, yet he seemed to keep encouraging emotions he couldn’t return.