Unnatural Calamities Read online

  “I’d wait.” Toph droned like an adman selling sleep aids to insomniacs. “I think I still detect potential problems with any action bordering on the dramatic.”

  “I am sure it will be all right,” she said as if she was murmuring reassuring good night to a nearly sleeping child. The woman had quite a voice, smooth and rich as melted chocolate. Toph wouldn’t mind hearing that sultry timbre in his ear last thing at night. He heard the car seat leather creak as she shifted her body toward Zack.

  Nothing happened. She described her favorite method for chopping herbs as she slowly inched closer to the hand that held the gun.

  She should have waited.

  The gun boomed as she grabbed at it and Zack grabbed back. Toph spun around, his throat so tight he couldn’t breathe.

  He saw she was all right and sank back into his seat.

  His ears were ringing, but he could hear Zack who’d reared up wildly, whamming his head on the car’s ceiling. “Jesus Flipping Christ! Ouch!”

  He brandished the gun. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Am I going to have to shoot you, Janey?”

  “Um. I think you already did,” Janey said, and gave a whimper. “But no biggie. It’s just a tiny thing on my arm.”

  “No! You jerk! Crap! Oh, shit!”

  “Zack, calm down,” ordered Toph. He longed to launch himself into the backseat, beat the snot out of Zack and rescue Janey.

  Not in the middle of the highway.

  “I am going to pull off onto a back road. I’m going to stop the car for a few minutes and we’ll get out and make sure Janey is all right.”

  He took a deep, calming breath, inhaling the sharp smell of a fired gun. Dizzy with fear, he forced himself to move slowly, though all he wanted to do was fling open the door and haul Janey out.

  He wasn’t having fun anymore.

  Chapter Six

  When they pulled into the empty parking lot, all three got out of the car and stood panting for a moment, as if catching their breath after a run. Zack backed away, still pointing the gun. Janey was relieved to see Zack’s hand had stopped shaking. She shook so much, though, she thought she’d fall over.

  Then Toph was next to her. “Let me see it.”

  Janey held out her arm. He tore off the knit pink sleeve just above where the bullet had ripped it. She forced herself to look at her arm. Not so bad. Not bleeding excessively. Just a graze, really…

  “Omigod, I’ve been shot,” she whispered and her voice seemed to come from across the parking lot.

  “I’m getting my handkerchief.” Toph’s steady voice explained as he slowly reached into his jacket pocket. He wrapped it around her arm, then gently lifted her other hand to press it against the wound to stem the bleeding.

  She felt a tear drip down her cheek.

  Toph didn’t explain anything to Zack when he pulled her into his arms and into a hug.

  Janey buried her face in his crisp starch-scented shirtfront for a moment, so she could swallow the tears and the stream of curses she wanted to fling at Zack.

  Better to be like Toph, who spoke to Zack like a friendly doctor. “I have a first aid kit in the trunk. If you open it, I’ll get it out.”

  Zack nodded. He popped the trunk and Toph extracted the kit. Janey stared at the hole through the seat into the trunk made by the bullet. The bullet that had almost killed her.

  To calm herself, she pressed her uninjured hand against the trunk lid so hard that it bit into her palm.

  “Come on.” Toph led her to the backseat of the car and sat her on the edge of the seat with the door open. He opened a tube of ointment.

  Time to see if she could reassure the moron. “I’m sorry I did that, Zack.” Janey said loudly. “It was stupid. And I’m sorry.”

  Zack nodded a few times and mumbled, “Damn straight it was stupid,” and seemed to calm down. He even muttered, “Hope it doesn’t hurt much.”

  Toph, squatting on the ground in front of Janey, finished bandaging her arm. He pulled her other hand to his mouth and pressed his warm mouth to her palm. She shut her eyes and shuddered—not with pain.

  “We’re going to be fine,” he whispered.

  She nodded, her eyes still shut.

  “I’m not going to let him hurt you again.”

  Yeah? And how exactly was he going to stop the jerk with a gun? Ridiculous though the promise was, his words reassured her.

  “You two done screwing around?” On the other side of the car, Zack shuffled, antsy again.

  Toph stood. He methodically put the first aid kit back together.

  He motioned to Janey to stand in front of him. She glanced down and saw him shoving the sharp little scissors for cutting bandages into a small hole in his jacket sleeve between the cloth and the lining. The tweezers, file and the scissors slipped into the hole neatly.

  He nodded to her and tossed the kit into the trunk. “What’s the plan, Zack?”

  “I gotta sleep. And I sure as hell don’t trust you losers. Give me your wallet, man.”

  Toph slowly reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. His careful motion reminded Janey of all the westerns she used to watch late at night while she walked the fussy baby Rachel. Whoa, and she’d thought that was a tough time.

  Zack yanked the wallet from him and flipped through it. He studied the credit cards but only pulled out the cash. He tossed the wallet back to Toph. “Shit. There’s almost $500. You walk around with that kind of money all the time?”

  “I owed someone some money. I’m paying in cash.”

  “Not anymore. Get in,” Zack ordered them. “I’m getting in back now. By myself.”

  Janey heaved a sigh of relief.

  Toph slammed his door, buckled his seat belt and said, conversationally, “You know, Zack, we’re going to be crossing state lines soon. You might consider letting us go before any more law enforcement agencies get involved. You got some money now so that’ll be a help. How about we stop at an ATM and I could get even more cash? Enough to get you wherever you want to go.”

  Oh, good idea. Use the card, she silently urged Zack.

  Zack scratched his chin. “Maybe. Yeah. No, wait. Hell no! You use your card, they’ll track us. You think I’m a dumb shit or something?”

  Janey pressed her lips together to keep from answering not as dumb as I’d hoped.

  Zack muttered, “I gotta think about this and come up with a plan. Turn on the radio and find something loud, for chrissake. So I can stay awake and think.”

  Janey should have pretended the radio was broken. It didn’t occur to her that the kidnapping would have already made the news, but there it was. Damn information age—even the hard rock station had their blasted programming set to break in with news every twenty minutes.

  And what were the news writers thinking? Maybe Toph and Janey could have had a chance to talk their way out of the situation.

  “Hey, they’re talking about us,” Zack said, excited. The moron sounded totally stoked. “Turn it up.”

  Janey turned up the volume on the words “Multimillionaire entrepreneur Christopher Dunham, said to be kidnapped at gun point…”

  Zack cocked his head as he listened. Almost at once a big smile lit his face. Sure enough, his thoughts wandered down the money path. “Whoa. So. You’re a multimillionaire? I gotta think about this. What are you worth, Dunham? I mean, what’ll people pay to get you back?”

  Damn, really. How much money did he have? She waited for his answer too.

  He said, “How about you let Janey go, Zack, and we’ll talk about it.”

  Zack laughed. “A multimillionaire. Whaddayaknow. I’ve never had a good plan but this looks good. Never thought I’d go into real crime, you know?” He sounded boyishly eager.

  For the first time in her memory, Janey could almost imagine liking the idiot, if only he’d been talking so enthusiastically about another subject.

  Any other subject.

  Zack continued, “But here I am. A kidnap
per. Damn. I’m in deep shit anyway. Might as well get something out of it, right? A kidnapper who’s gonna go for some ransom. You think two–three million is good?”

  He didn’t wait for their answer. “Okay, I’ve changed my mind. I’m keeping you and Janey. I got a plan now. We’re gonna to dump this car, get us another and get some safe sleep. In a real hotel. First, we’re gonna get you two some comfy handcuffs.”

  Zack located the porn ‘n’ sex goods shop with no trouble, even though he said he’d never been to the small town. Janey supposed he had some kind of homing device for those establishments. After a strange interlude during which the three of them purchased the genuine police handcuffs from an indifferent zombie of a clerk, Zack decided to hit a drive-through for food.

  Through a mouthful of double cheeseburger he said, “Gonna drive for a few more hours then take a break.”

  After Janey finished her soggy fish sandwich, Zack handcuffed both of her hands to the armrest. He made Toph cuff one hand to the steering wheel. After he got into the backseat, he tucked the gun behind his head, far from Toph’s reach, then sprawled across the backseat. “I’ll get some shut eye while we’re on the highway. I’ll know if we slow down, bright boy, so don’t try anything.”

  Janey rearranged her body, canting herself toward the window so her arms would not be pulled into an awkward angle. The slash left by the bullet stung, reminding her that she’d have to explain the wound to Rachel.

  “You okay?” Toph asked.

  She answered in a low voice that wouldn’t reach the backseat. “Yeah. I’m taking a break from worrying about us. Right now I’m fretting about Rachel. She’s so…so defensive about Zack, as if she were responsible for him because he’s her father. If Zack does anything. Um. Well. If he does, she’ll be in therapy for the rest of her life. She might be anyway.”

  “Hmmm.”

  What could the grunt mean? She couldn’t see him unless she squirmed back around. She watched him over her shoulder but his face gave nothing away. Still, she did like looking at him. That kiss he’d given her hand. Would he have pressed his mouth to any woman’s hand? She closed her eyes, trying to remember the feel of his firm lips on her skin. One arm hurt because of the bullet. The other tingled because of a kiss.

  She sighed. “Are you okay?”

  He didn’t answer for a long moment. “I am. Isn’t that strange? I truly am.” Janey twisted around to the window again. She watched the flat dull landscape swirl by. The handcuff on Toph’s wrist clattered as he passed a slow-moving camper.

  He was the type who didn’t mind slow conversations, apparently, for he continued speaking, as if several minutes of silence hadn’t passed. “I think I wouldn’t be as okay if I were alone.”

  She laughed. “Tell me about it.”

  “Worrying about you keeps me from worrying about me.” She considered his words and decided she simply appreciated the company of a sane human being. But she felt touched. Toph, a knight in shining armor.

  They’d been on the road for more than three hours when Toph announced he was tired.

  “You want to drive, Zack?” he said.

  “Nuh uh. I don’t think so. If I took the wheel you two losers would figure out some way to make me go berserk and get into an accident. Janey’ll take over.”

  On a tiny country lane, Zack got out of the car and held the gun steady as Janey and Toph stretched and traded places.

  She slid over and ratcheted the seat up to accommodate her much shorter legs. Nice that it was a real lever to push, and not some funky electrical device. She could learn to like this car. Especially if she were driving it under different circumstances.

  She pulled back onto the highway, marveling at the car’s smooth ride. Very nice indeed. She pressed the gas pedal and began passing the rest of the traffic.

  From the backseat, Zack spoke up. “Janey. Don’t even think of it. I can see how fast we’re going. Slow down.” He added in a thoughtful voice, “If a trooper stops us, I’ll shoot him and you. Not the rich guy though.”

  Janey didn’t believe him, she hoped, but she eased her foot off the accelerator.

  After a minute Zack spoke again. “Talk to me. I’m bored.”

  Janey glanced over at Toph next to her. He’d fallen asleep. She knew he should rest, but she wished her knight was still awake to protect her. Heck, he must not be too jangled if he could sleep right now. That thought gave her a bit of comfort. So did the sight of his jaw—efficient, clean lines on the efficient, clean man.

  He slept with his head thrown back, exposing his throat. Nice neck. He had those good, strong lines, but a visible Adam’s apple. Janey thought it gave him a charming, vulnerable look. Of course vulnerable wasn’t what she wanted just now.

  “Janey. I need to stay awake,” Zack whined again.

  She had absolutely nothing to say to Zack Blair. “Should I turn on the radio?”

  “Nah, that’s boring.”

  She rolled her eyes. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Hell. I don’t know. Whoa, listen. I’ll tell you something. A blast from your past, babe. I ran into Buddy last winter. Get this. I hadn’t seen him in frigging forever and Buddy starts talking about you. Almost fourteen effing years later.”

  Buddy, her first boyfriend. Oh God, she was grateful she had outgrown Buddy.

  “Fancy that. Old Buddy,” she said without interest.

  “Yup. He told me that you were the best lay he’d ever had. I thought you’d like that news.” He beamed at her as if he’d honestly thought she’d be pleased.

  “Nice of him to share the news.” She shook her head. “If I was so darned hot, I wonder why he needed to sleep with that stripper I found him in bed with. That Cherchez Le Bateau.”

  “Cherry la Booty.”

  “Yeah, I remember her.” Actually all Janey remembered was the flaming red hair and lots of piercings—and acres of naked flesh bouncing in her bed on top of her boyfriend. “So was Buddy wasted when you ran into him and he grew all nostalgic?”

  “Hell yes, we all were. Spent the whole winter in south Florida, babe. That’s living. Fishing. Drinking. Screwing. Man, you’re a fool. You don’t know what you miss in the boring shit you call a life.”

  He had a gun, but she was driving so she figured he wouldn’t use it or even attempt to slap her.

  “No, Zack, you’re the fool. You don’t know what you are missing.”

  “Huh?”

  “Your daughter. Funny that you were the worst thing to happen to Penny and me, but you gave us the best thing in our lives.”

  “Hell. Buddy and I weren’t bad. We didn’t kick you out. Can’t say the same thing about that frozen turd Millie.”

  Janey had her customary brief spasm of pity at the mention of poor old Mom.

  Millie Carmody, the woman who should never have married. She should have taken vows of a different sort. Too bad she hadn’t been born Catholic.

  At Zack’s old, familiar label for Millie, Janey could see her mother’s face clearly, puckered up tight as usual. Someone must have told Millie that plump lips were a sure sign of sensuality so she kept that sinful mouth of hers pressed tightly inward. It gave her the appearance of nervousness. As if she constantly chewed on her lower lip in fear or indecision.

  Fear, Millie experienced every day of her life, fear of a God that had way too much time on his hands and used all that extra time to judge every one of her thoughts and actions. Not to mention judging Millie’s two dreadful offspring.

  Yup, Millie had fear in spades. Indecision, never.

  Bad as it was to be Millie’s daughter, Janey had only lately come to understand how much worse it must have been to be the woman herself. All Janey’s old anger had shifted and settled and now she felt pity, and no rage.

  She said, “Poor old Mom was as clueless as you jerks. But at least she wasn’t out to screw us over.”

  He snickered. “You didn’t mind at the time.”

  “Yeah, well, we w
ere fifteen. We didn’t know better.”

  He mimicked her. “Yeah, well, and we were some fine teachers, you know it, babe. Fine teachers. I can’t speak for ol’ Buddy’s abilities. But I know Penny had no complaints about our lessons.”

  She smacked the steering wheel with her palm, annoyed with herself, not him. Why was she bothering to argue?

  “And now your life is so very fine?” he said jeering. “Crap pay with the nine-to-five crap. Trapped in that hole of an apartment in West Deadsville. No sex. I can tell, you know. Just by looking at you.”

  She didn’t say anything and beat a little tattoo on the steering wheel with her fingers. She tapped in time to the silent version of “Modern Major General” that played in her head. Next to her, Toph sprawled as much as he could with his hands cuffed to the door. What would a guy like him say about Millie and her girls? She was glad he was asleep so he wouldn’t hear this conversation.

  Zack wasn’t finished giving her guff.

  “So what the hell, Janey? What is so bad about having a good time? Hell. I feel sorry for you. You forgot how to have fun.”

  He was pushing her to get mad. One of his old favorite forms of entertainment, Janey-baiting. Funny thing, though. Since he’d lost that strange mojo over her, he’d lost his power to get under her skin—except maybe with bullets.

  “Yeah, but I feel sorrier for you, Zack. You missed far more than fun when you walked away. You missed seeing Rachel grow up. There’s nothing better than that.”

  “Kids are a pain in the ass.”

  “Yup. No doubt about it. They are major pains.” She smiled at the thought of her sweet niece. “But just when I think I’d like to kill her, Rachel does something or says something or even just looks at me and it’s more than worth the pain-in-the-butt times. It’s like some kind of blessing. Having a kid.”

  Zack groaned. “Another word and I’m going to barf all over myself.”